Sorry man, that’s just not metal.

Posted: January 17, 2014 in Uncategorized


I am going to save the discussion of how many types of metal there are for another time.  What I want to discuss (rant about) is the misplacement of something that I am seeing more often;  musicians that insist on playing multiple neck guitars and playing mostly on the neck.  Before I go too far, I want to state for the record that I think that these artists are extremely talented.  There; I said it.  BUT…it’s just not Metal.

I appreciate all types of music.  What I can’t get my mind around is why these neck-playing, no vocalist having, drum machine playing guys are opening for a Metal act.  I get it, your fast.  I actually kind of like quite a bit of it.  In small, well placed doses.  Maybe I am a purist.  I love a great riff and I absolutely love a great solo.  I just feel like these artists would be better suited for a beatnik coffee shop with their guitar case opened in front of them with a few dollar bills swirling around the red velvet.

Its fun to watch sometimes.  I totally appreciate seeing an amazingly talented person work an instrument with precision and complete familiarity.  I can only imagine the amount of time it takes to be able to do that.  It’s just not Metal!  I don’t care how fast you play it.  It is not ever going to be Metal.  There are two people, okay three people I think of that can pull off a double neck guitar:  Jimmy Page, Rick Nielson (Cheap Trick) and Lita Ford.  None of these artists ever felt the need to park the entire song on the necks.

Recently, we went to see one of our local favorites play.  They were not closing the show, but were playing second to last.  As with many local gigs you kind of have to be a little adventurous and open minded to sit through all of the openers.  Most of the time the smoking area has more people in it than in front of these bands.  But what we saw that night was a complete disaster by the “Promoter” who booked bands that in no way had any business playing with the band that followed the next.  It was physically painful.  That is what is happening with these neck-slappers opening up for a Metal show.  And I thought this went without saying but, if you have to set up your drum machine before you play…I’m out.  It’s just not Metal!

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